Vegans?!? 

**WARNING: disgusting vegetables are mentioned in the blog below**

So I spoke with someone and asked them what they thought my next blog post should be, and the individual recommended that I do a rant on what I think about vegans.

I want to start off by saying this: if you’re a vegan, then I have extremely high respect for you. There’s no way I could have made that choice. More on that later, though.

I am a really large meat and dairy lover. Steak is amazing. It’s the best thing ever. Don’t even get me started on burgers. In-N-Out = heaven on earth 😉 . Some people are addicted to drugs, others to Netflix. I’m addicted to milk. I consume about 4 cups of milk daily. It’s really bad for me, but it’s SOOOOOO good ❤ .

Think about all of the things that vegans don’t eat. Eggs, milk, meat. Those are all things that I will not be able to live without.

Picture this:

No cakes (eggs, milk)

No coffee unless you drink it without milk (bleh)

ICE CREAM (NOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo……)

NO MORE CEREAL (I think that this is the worst one)

Now, picture this scenario:

You are at a friend’s house.

Friend’s mom: “Hi honey. For dinner we have chicken-noodle soup, turkey, fish, and some squash*. Help yourself!”

You: “Uh, sorry but I’m a vegan…………………………………….”

Friend’s mom (trying not to cry out of pure grief for the choice you made): “Well then… Let’s see… I guess I could whip you up a salad…?”

You: “Oh please don’t go out of your way for me, I’m fine.”

Friend’s mom (while dabbing): “WELL THEN ENJOY YOUR SQUASH CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

*that’s the nastiest thing ever.

Admittedly this was a bit exaggerated, but not too much. As a vegan, you would have to be missing out on SO much and instead be forced to eat *ughhhhhhh* squash……. **throwsupinmouthwhilewritingblog**

Enough on my critiques of vegans, though, because I have to give them some credit.

It takes some genuine self-control to be able to resist all of the fattening temptations that surround them. Granted, it’s a lot easier (I’m guessing) to maintain this way of life if you were like that from birth, but there are people who choose to do so half way through their lives! I honestly respect that. I wish I could have that much control over my body. I can’t even diet XD

I want all of you who are reading this to stop dozing off based on the unusual seriousness of the last paragraph. Thank you. Now back to your previous program of “What the heck goes on in this guy’s head?!?”

I HAVE A CHALLENGE!!!!!

First off: No, I will not be participating in the challenge because yes, I’m fat.

The challenge is to go vegan for a week.

DO IT.

No meat. No animal products. Only vegetables and whatever else vegans can eat.

I want you guys to see if going vegan really does all for you that they claim it does. Do you think, based on your experience, that it gives, “increased energy, younger looking skin and eternal youth” (from vegansociety.com)??? Here is a full list of what they claim being vegan can do for you. Is it true? Comment below.

Once again, thanks for reading the blog. Hope you enjoyed. Please don’t be a person who just reads it, though. Please comment. I can see the site stats and there are SOO many people that just read and don’t comment. As seen in the about page, this blog is ran by you guys. Please give me some more topics, as it is more and more difficult to find something to write on. Thanks all!

VEGETABLES ARE GROSS.

Sorry, just had to get that out there.

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4 comments

  1. Jake, if you’d go vegan, you’ll be the fattest vegan on earth.

    Because you’ll just eat triple portions of everything just to make up for your favorite foods:
    Tofu Steak (tastes like paper soaked in leftover oil) , Soy milk ( made fresh at Home Depot), Smoked Ham (freshly ripped from your neighbor’s tree), Fresh Eggs ( from the Chicken you bought at Toys R Us), ummm…. one more, on your toast – diary free butter straight from the bathroom soap dispenser. Yeah! That’ll be you FatVegan! (:>|)D

    Like

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